crying on the couch, night two

realizing the guy isn't the reason, but simply a symptom, simply one more time I ended up alone.

fearing there's some fatal flaw inside me, and I'll never find the connection I yearn for.

treasuring the connections I do have, but tonight, again, they're just not enough.

a gratitude list:

Maya, always and forever.  Tonight all she wanted to do was read, and to know that I wasn't sad.
Ripley, who drooled while being petted tonight.
Dennis, who sent worried emails.
Raspberries.
Music.
Hope, which refuses to die - but feels faint and failing.
My house, as I come upstairs and feel that I am home.
The scarf I bought in Niagara Falls, which is vivid pink and cheerful.

There are other things in abstract, but those are real and concrete tonight.

Lunchtime on day one of Bomb Girls